Please note that the following blog is not suitable for all reading audiences:
Those with week stomach and faint constitutions need not read on.
The following blog is rated PG...
Poop Guaranteed.
Ive been spending some time with doctors and in medical facilities in the last little while and I would love to share some of my findings with those of you may not have any medical experience so that when and if you are ever in a situation where you may need to ask is that possible you will remember the oh-so-wise blog you read and may respond, well yes it is.
1.) Toothpaste burns!! Most of the time worse than salt...
2.) Pain Killers can kill pain and your ability to think before you speak...
3.) You can vomit poo....Yes you can and I have the web pages to prove it.
So here you go 3 funny stories that will make you laugh cry and wet your pants.
Story 1
I am sick, this is not so much funny but the memories I have obtained have been hilarious!!
A couple of months ago I had been going through some treatments that made me really raw when i urinated. (kinda gross to know but stay with me it gets better i promise) About the same time I had been to the dentist and asked for some better toothpaste as this treatment also causes me to vomit and I was worried about throwing up and it ruining my teeth (I really do promise you will laugh)
So for the raw I get this cream in a blue and white tube that stands on its head not too big but obviously cream.
And for the teeth I get this toothpaste in a blue and white tube that stands on its head, not too big but obviously, well actually it looks like a tube of cream...
One night as I woke up to use the rest room I was half awake and paying no kind of attention to what I was doing, except that I needed to add more cream when I was done.
I will tell you what, I didn't know that I could yell that loud!! And then also laugh so hard.
...This is where you should have figured out that what I used was not cream....
Story number 2
And this one has a warning never never never take pain medication and then go to church where they may have a testimony meeting.
Yes I did this and yes looking back it is a pretty funny story. I do now think that there should also be a warning on the labels of all prescription bottles: Do not share any personal information while taking. Kinda like driving or using heavy machinery.
One fast and testimony meeting I decided to get up and bear my testimony about the things I was going through. It could have been a really great one too except the things I were going through on that particular week was the possibility of menopause.
Maybe I should mention that I was in a singles ward and you know that really kinda kills any chance of a date in the next week.
Story number 3
I recently had a biopsy done. Minor little surgery not too big of a deal. Usually I get medication after these to help with regularity. After the last on however, Nada. I really didn't think much about it until about 4 days later. Some slight cramping nothing too bad I made a mental note to talk to my doctor about it and put it out of my head. The next day I started to throw up more than usual and the smell I kid you not Like POO!! Well I was freaking out and of course trying to call my doctor with no answer did not help. I was with April, thank goodness!! Because her mom is a nurse and I did not believe that you can vomit poop. OK this may not be so funny yet, but the web page I was directed to you gotta check this out. I was rolling on the floor.
http://www.poopreport.com/
look in the section on vomiting poop...
You know what cures constipation? Laughing!!
I really and truely believe Laughter is the best medicine, especially if you use it instead of cream.
