Count down to Alaska

 New adventures begining early this year and honestly I can not wait... Seriously less than a week to go and I am already having a hard time sleeping with excitement. I have decided i will take all opportunities to do unique and unusual things as they come and open myself to be quick to say yes. Since committing to that and leaving the conventional job i have had this trip presented itself. To alaska in the winter for 10 days with family i haven't really been around in 20 years!! I can not wait. Who gets to do things like this?!! What a Lucky Girl I Am!!! 

2022 a year for joy

 I have been absentee... It has been a few years of good but hard. I am sure most who find this blog will feel the same. 

I have had a few jobs since the last entry... Only a few and i have all loved them for different reasons. I have learned from each.

With the last two years however i have taken away 2 major truths about myself...

I have a talent for putting up with and helping people with their BS. And this seems to be my best marketable skill. 

No matter where my path has taken me in the last 12 years i have found myself ending in spaces where i am being paid to listen to yelling cursing upset people just unload and expect ludicrous things... And i have allowed this to define a lot of who i have become.  

I have a wicked and quick sense of humor that boarders on morbid...my once unlimited patience has become thin waned and tired... This combo alone has gotten me into more scrapes recently than i care to admit... 

But i hit a wall these last two weeks from a 2nd hand conversation about me that was actually very telling... 

My poor mother who has been very sick was home while i have been in a different state unable to really care for her in any commodity but over the phone. My sister Cortni has been shouldering the duties of care-giver.  

Cort called to tell me mom had told her (she was very drugged and not well at all) she wished i was there to help to take care of her... Because i was only nice to her when she was sick...

And well it has been a hard couple of years but nothing has hit harder in a long while than this...

I am not gonna lie. It made me laugh first... And than the truth came crashing down... I am sooo good at dealing with all the bull but the bull is not good at dealing with me... I am turning into those people who i hate.

If i had not been jobless already (barely and that is a story for another day) i would have quit on the spot!

So for 2 weeks and change... I have been trying to figure out how am i gonna live and afford life with out being miserable and mean... 

I am doing everything right now based on how it is making me feel... I am looking for a job (i am averaging 14 job apps a day) but honestly i can not get paid enough to revert back to nastiness... 

I am considering doing more of the things that i love and i am trying to figure out how to make money doing those things... Things that will enrich the people i come in contact with.

Blogging is one of those things.

Hopefully someone will read these and smile and be happy because of my craziness... 

Just some thoughts from an unemployed slightly c anchoress person trying to be more happy and turn 2022 into a year for joy.

ok its time to go shewding!!

ok i am weady... i got my shewd..

you going shewding too..right?

you gonna go cause i am using my pwetty pwease face!! so can we go now?!

SHWEDDING VIDEOS ENJOY!!

um anutie mandi ... yes jack... what does energy constipation mean...(the tv is going in the back ground)... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! BAHAHAHAHAHA!! I love this kid!!

THE A TEAM....

I THINK HE LOOKS LIKE HANNIBAL? ANYBODY ELSE SEE IT?

LOVE YA DAD GET BETTER SOON...

I have had an epiphany!!

Its been awhile and I am so sorry!!

I know my vast and numerous throng of blog followers are probally super sad that I have not been keping up on this page. So I decided to come back and give it another try...
(So here you go you 3 people who read this!!)

I have had an epiphany!! I love that word epiphany!!

It kinda caught me off gard this sudden inspriration about myself. But I do believe it will help me in the future.

Here it is... I seem to almost always get my answers to prayers in a very specific way.

Now this fact may have occured to other people already. I am sure most people found out way before turning...(you thought i was gonna post my age here huh?) into an adult that they hear or feel answers in one way better than another and are than more intune to listen when those answers come.

I am a little slower I guess cause it has taken me a lot longer to figure it out than I should have. Mabe I have know on some basic level...

You may feel that "warm fuzzy"... I get that, not often but I can say I have felt the warmth.

Or a Whisper... that too sometimes the Lord speaks softly to me when he may know that I will listen.

Burning... my heart has ached once or twice like it was on fire.

Even Thoughts or Impressions... for me more often than not I get the stupor of thought.

But here is where the whole epiphany thing comes in...love that word epiphany

MY ANSWERS, the ones where it just stops me in my tracks and I know it is a message or an answer to prayers... the knock me off my feet and I learn the biggest lessons have my most meaningful answers come in the form of HUMOR.

This may sound stupid even sacreligious but it is so true for me.

It is not the warm fuzzy the burning the thought or whisper or lack of any of those things that stick with me the most.
My answers come best when the lord makes me laugh.

With that being said I am gonna start posting funny funny funny things that happen to me here and there and show you how they have become the best things for me.

This last week I had a Bladder apt. I have been in a lot of pain. Pain that I cant control for me is pretty intense and so this last week I have been cranky. To the point that I have not wanted to be around people for fear of hurting someone or hurting someones feelings.
It was not good I yelled at people on the phone for work. I was short with my friends and family. or I was holed up in my bed not wanting to see anyone. I was getting to the point where i was kinda worried that I was depressed. Than to top it all off I have a SOFTBALL size cyst drained. Needless to say my mood wasnt going to be getting anybetter anytime soon.
Coming home from this doctors apt. after checking to see that the procedure the week before was healing I have had a cath. which is painful and I am driving home and hit traffic. So I am PISSED... and decide that enough is enough and I need some "heavenly help" to change my mood cause there is no way I can do it on my own... I say a quick prayer.

Please Please Please Heavenly Father just help me to be better I need an adittude adjustment please dont be too hard on me if I swear coming home the traffic is more than I can handle right now. I want to be happier if you can help me with that it would be a good thing. I will try to be better...

And than I notice this...

And I just start busting up... What perfect timing and what a perfect Heavenly Father.

My Prayer ends with Thank you Thank you Thank you. I know this is your way of telling me I need to be happy. I need to be in a better mood even if my as is not so meri. I will try to be happier even if my meri as* isnt so much right now...

So I guess that is it.

I hope it made you laugh or at least a little bit more "Meri"